Setting your mind to
something and actually doing it. Traveling, writing a book, jumping out of a
plane or landing a dream job, these are all things that we dream of everyday
and only hope to accomplish someday. For me it is traveling. Not just sightseeing
or that two-week break from work but actually seeing other cultures for what
they are, learning from the people and understanding their way of life.
Peace Corps was not
something that I had always dreamed of doing, it was not that I was against it
but just never considered it something to get me where I wanted to go.
Circumstances or plans change and people get antsy in their routine lives and
sign up for the unimaginable. This is what makes up a majority of the Peace
Corps population; people that enjoy helping people, able to learn another
language and are free of major commitments that would hold them back.
My head is not in its
normal place right now so I would like to pre-apologize if it seems more like I
am ranting or putting together random thoughts versus telling a story or giving
my unsolicited opinion. Days are being marked off the calendar and plans are
being made in America as I am have less than a couple of weeks left at site. Of
course there is that part of me that’s excited to be reunited with family and
friends that I have not seen in two years. Before all of that happens though
there is the reality of withdrawing from Senegal; my home for the past two
years, the family that took me in when I only knew a handful of words, my
counterparts that proved to me that with a little hard work anything can be done
and all the kids that made it their mission in life to remind me to play and
laugh.
 |
| Sure am going to miss these guys! |
The only coping mechanism
that I have come up with thus far for dealing with saying “see you later” to
everyone here, because we all know I am horrible with goodbyes, is to pretend
like I have a lot of time left and to go on with my days per usual. Not
necessarily the most healthy way of dealing with it but I could think of worse.
I mean, how do you express the amount of love and appreciation that you have
for someone or an entire family unit when language is limited and the
understanding of why we have to return back to the states is simply not there?
Sure it seems like an easy fix to just stay, as many people recommend, but our
lives are back home, our family, jobs, everything we have known. We have to go
back, right? Well while that is a debate that I still have with myself everyday
it may be a discussion that we have later. But really quick, am I going to get sick
of the states again in a couple months? A year? Two years? I am going to go on
the record that it is inevitable that I will feel this way, probably sooner
than later, but that is what my dream job working for an international NGO is
for.
Back on the original topic
that I expected to talk about, accomplishing things that you once thought were
unachievable or didn’t know you wanted until you did it. I was watching the
miniseries Long Way Round featuring
Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman traveling from the UK to New York via, well,
the long way and not only has it inspired me to actually trek around the world
since I have always dreamed of it but watching them reflect on the experience
has encouraged me to take more initiative in actually doing things that I dream
about and to work on actually being in the moment more with no regrets. A
famous quote that I once heard, I actually want to get a tattoo of it, it is
just a matter of how and where, goes something like “never look back and regret
the past, at some point it was exactly what you wanted.” I can’t think of a
phrase that is more true in my life, be it jobs, tattoos or even boyfriends and
you just have to appreciate your past for what it was because it made you who
you are today.
So how does all this babble
circle around and relate to Peace Corps and me leaving Velingara in a matter
less than a few weeks? On the hot days when it is reaching 112°F, when kids can’t seem to
get the hint to get lost, when ants bite me when I lay on my floor because the heat
radiating from my foam mattress is unbearable or when I simply just want to
crawl into a hole and have just one day to myself but my surroundings seem to
refuse, I have to remember that not only did I sign up to be here but I will
someday, while it may be later than sooner, miss these exact moments. I will
miss the kids yelling, I will miss the hot weather when it is freezing for
months on end in Minnesota and I will miss the feeling of never feeling alone
and always having someone to talk to.
Compared to other services
that people have had in Peace Corps, though you shouldn’t really compare
because everyone makes their service their own and since all circumstances are
different there is really no level playing field to compare them on, I must say
that I have had a successful one. I have never been short of work, my
counterparts have been amazing (though we have had our tough times as we should
considering the amount of time we spent together), my family makes me
speechless with the amount of love and comfort they have given me and Senegal
in general has been very understanding and kind. It was a good ride, no regrets
and now on to the next unknown chapter in my life. With that being said,
Velingara we have only a little bit of time together so lets make the most of
it.
Cheers.
